Grover Cleveland’s Funny (or was it Creepy?) Valentine

Grover Cleveland had been a lifelong bachelor when elected president in 1884. He took office as the second bachelor president in 1885 - Cory Booker, will you be the third? 

Grover Cleveland liked to eat and drink, sure, and he liked to have a good time glad-handing constituents in the bars around Buffalo. He also spent long hours working at all of his jobs: as a lawyer, a deputy district attorney, as Sheriff, as the Mayor of Buffalo and as Governor of New York. He was legendary for his work ethic and his dedication and personal responsibility to doing his job often until the wee hours, personally writing and responding to correspondence with his own hand.

So when the single President announced in late May 1886 he was engaged: pandemonium. 

The nation’s press gave breathless coverage of Grover Cleveland’s new bride in early June, 1886. Frances Folsom, who turned out to be the daughter of Oscar Folsom, Grover’s best friend, became the first woman to be married in the White House. At age 21, she was some 27 years younger than her new husband and overnight, she became the nation’s youngest First Lady, before or since. That age difference viewed today is a little bit creepy.

By the time he took office in March 1885, President Cleveland had developed romantic feelings for Frances, a celebrated beauty and student at Wells College in New York. With her mother’s permission, he sent her letters and filled her dormitory room with flowers. He wooed her from afar. In late May the next year, Grover Cleveland announced he’d been secretly engaged for about nine months. 

Cleveland proposed to Frances in writing in August 1885, shortly after she graduated college, but they kept their engagement under wraps until five days before the wedding. It was easy to keep secret as Frances and her mother Emma were traveling in Europe. When they returned to New York, the press started getting suspicious that something was up because Grover Cleveland had for the first time bought a large house in Washington. Speculation was that Grover would marry the mother, the age appropriate Widow Emma Folsom.... but nope! It would be weirder than that.... 

Grover and the Younger Miss Folsom were married at the White House on June 2, 1886. Hard-working Grover planned the whole thing himself, partly so he could keep it secret. He hand-wrote the 50 wedding invitations. His sister helped plan and prepare the meal. They covered the White House windows with black fabric to keep out the eyes of prying reporters, and he refused to talk to the press for several days.

But once the secret leaked, it was quite the party and, fun fact!, John Phillip Sousa led the US Marine Band that played the wedding party reception. The press had a field day and hounded the happy couple on their six day honeymoon to Maryland where the newlyweds tried to avoid the newspaper reporters who were swarming the resort.

Frances wore an ivory dress made of such stiff satin that it could stand up by itself. She later had it altered into an evening gown and recycled it for formal receptions and portrait sittings.  At the request of the couple, the traditional “honor, love and obey” portion of Frances’ marriage vows was replaced with the words “honor, love and keep.”

See, it seems to be the perfect love story? And it is. Or it might be. But it also gets weirder and creepier. 

Cleveland had known his bride-to-be, the daughter of his longtime law partner, almost from the moment she was born. The future president gave the infant Frances her first baby carriage and doted on her throughout her childhood. When his friend and her father Oscar Folsom died in a carriage accident in 1875, Cleveland became the administrator of the Folsom estate and took charge of 11-year-old Frances’ education. He helped her mother and siblings with their finances and made sure they were well off and cared for as she grew up.

And remember, during Cleveland’s presidential campaign a Buffalo newspaper dropped a bombshell when it revealed that the candidate, the unmarried lifelong bachelor, had fathered an illegitimate child in the early 1870s. The Republicans hoped to take Grover down with this accusation.

Instead of hiding or dodging the claim, Cleveland openly admitted to the public that he had acknowledged the boy at birth and provided financial support for him ever since. The child was named (wait for it) Oscar Folsom Cleveland, and was whisked away from the mother and placed for adoption. (Grover also, ahem, had the mother locked up in an insane asylum.... )

However, Team Cleveland alleged the woman was of weak morals and was also involved with several men in the Buffalo area before becoming pregnant, that she was a loose woman and an unfit mother, and that’s why Grover Cleveland honorable provided for the child. Word on the street was these other men included Oscar Folsom, the father of Cleveland’s future bride.  

Many believe Cleveland took financial and paternal responsibility for the child despite the uncertainty that he was the biological father because the other potential fathers, including Oscar, his future bride’s father, were all married men. Oh-oh! As the single man, it was the honorable thing for Grover to do at the time. 

In fact, Grover’s openness and honesty about the whole affair (pun intended) added to his reputation and helped him win election to the nation’s highest office. When his party came asking what to do when the accusation appeard, Grover said, “Above all, tell the truth.” We could use an honest man in the White House again.

The bottom line? Love moves in mysterious ways. 

A beautiful young woman, Frances Cleveland quickly won over the affections of the American public in her new role as First Lady. One of her most popular initiatives was hosting a weekly reception on Saturday afternoons at the White House, the day and time chosen specifically so working women could also have the chance to attend.

And the happy couple? The Clevelands were married for the rest of his life, and they had five children together, including the beloved Baby Ruth Cleveland. They remained in love and devoted to each other by all accounts until Grover’s death 22 years later, at age 71, in 1908. 

Five years after he died, the Widow Frances Cleveland remarried, becoming the first First Lady to remarry after her husaband’s death. And when she died another 39 years later, in 1947, she was buried next to her first love, the most gracious and charming Grover, in his cemetery plot in Princeton, N.J. 

Happily every after. Or was it creepily ever after?

Which brings us to the bottomest line: Every story has two or three or four (or more!) sides, depending on who is doing the telling. Maria Halpin’s account of her encounter with Grover Cleveland is much less flattering, particularly when viewed through 21st century eyes. We’ll get to it another day. 

For now: Always remember to get a second and third opinion before you make up your mind about something, or someone.

Happy Valentines Day, Grover and Frances! May you both be remembered fondly for the love you had for each other.